MaLL MaYhEm
by Godrina-Drowning-in-Blood
Summary: scientists try to read people's minds, a video store full of deprived anime lovers, an eating contest between anime's biggest eaters, and more! Better than it sounds. contains multiple animes. One Shot. PLEASE REVIEW! [complete]


SANITY LOST - By Godrina_of_the_Cyborgs  
  
~Disclaimer~  
  
Godrina: Before we start the story, we have to attend to the not-so-  
boring task of reading the disclaimer! (Whispers) Somebody do the  
disclaimer! Hiei you do it.  
  
Hiei: I can't read your handwriting.  
  
Kuwabara: (snatches the paper) Lemme see it! Gooodddrrriiinnnaaa doooeeesss nnnooottt  
  
Yuske: Oh, just read it like a normal person!  
  
Kuwabara: Godrina does not claim ownership of the characters in this  
fanfic. Uhhhhh, should I go on?  
  
Godrina: YES GO ON, YOU IDIOT!  
  
Yuske: Kuwabara, if you screw this SIMPLE task up, there will be a  
dent in the wall shaped like your head.  
  
Kuwabara: Okay, okay. I gotcha. The only part of this that  
Godrina_of_the_Cyborgs claims ownership of is the storyline. Although  
she does wish that she had ownership of Hiei because-  
  
Hiei: What?  
  
Godrina: NOTHING! Kuwabara, You're not supposed to read that part!  
  
Kuwabara: Fine. Considering that this is Godrina's first fanfic, she  
wants your complete honesty when reviewing, and don't say that it  
sucked just because you do not like Yu-Yu Hakusho. She also does not  
discourage flameys, because she wants to know what you really thing.  
(Damn, this thing is long) And Yu-Yu Hakusho is owned by FUNimation  
and Shonen Jump.So.how'd I do?  
  
Godrina: Let's just say that Kurama's going to do it next time.  
  
~At the lab~  
Kuwabara is attached to a series of wires, which are hooked up to a  
screen. Professor Hiragi, Doctor Gilmore, and Prof. Hikari are crowded  
around the screen.  
  
Prof. Hiragi; This device will allow us to see his thoughts.  
  
Dr. Gilmore: I don't think this is such a good idea.  
  
Prof. Hikari: Gilmore's right. This is the mind of a complete loon,  
moron, and Yukina-loving idiot. We may be scarred for life.  
  
Prof. Hiragi: We'll live.I hope. Just turn it on.  
  
They turn it on. Yuske is sipping soda while leaning on a  
control panel.  
  
Yuske: Hey! HEY! THIS IS A PRIVATE SCREEN! Can a guy get a little privacy?  
  
Yuske pushes a button and Please Stand By appears on the screen.  
  
Prof. Hikari: That certainly was.interesting to say the least.  
  
Prof. Hiragi: Hey boss! There's been a break into the lab; the guards  
say that it was a samurai with long, red hair and a reverse-blade  
sword. Gee.what will they think of next?  
  
Dr. Gilmore & Prof. Hikari: hahaha!  
  
Wall in next room blows up, the 3 guys run to the window.  
  
Kuwabara: Kenshin!?!? But this is supposed to be a Yu-Yu Hakusho fic!  
  
Dr. Gilmore: Kenshin, watch out for the-  
  
Splash! Kenshin falls into electric pool.  
  
Dr. Gilmore: The P.D.M. (Personality Division Mechanism)  
  
Kenshin splits into two. Nice, happy Kenshin smiles at Battosai  
Kenshin. Battosai Kenshin gives happy Kenshin the finger.  
  
Prof. Hiragi: Hey, Anybody want to go get a movie?  
  
Everyone except Prof. Hiragi: Yeah!  
  
~At the Video Store~  
  
Hiei: "Death to Smoochy"? Is this movie supposed to have any meaning?  
  
Kurama: Probably not.  
  
Prof. Hiragi, Dr. Gilmore, and Prof. Hikari are all looking at a  
large group of people who are staring at the anime section.  
  
Clerk: Can I help any of you people?  
  
Random person in crowd: Help me? Can I have your autograph?  
  
Clerk: I'm just a clerk.  
  
R.P.I.C.: Can I have the manager's autograph, then?  
  
Clerk: no.  
  
R.P.I.C.: Then can we get his address so we can stalk him?  
  
Clerk: Sir, if I suddenly lose my mind and tell you, I'll be fired.  
  
Dr. Gilmore: So much for this, shall we go to the video store at the mall?  
  
~The Video Store at the Mall~  
  
Prof. Hikari: What do you mean you've reached the maximum occupancy?!?  
  
Clerk: It's state law! You can't allow more than 150 persons in the  
store. I'm sorry you can't all fit. You'll just have to wait.  
  
They all wait in line and watch as two security guards walk out  
dragging Ranma, who has 5 girls clinging to his feet.  
  
Ranma: screaming what's wrong with you!?! I'm already engaged!  
Besides, I'm a girl! A girl I tell you! Someone get some cold water,  
quick!  
  
Prof. Hikari: I'm scared to go in now!  
  
Prof. Hiragi: Right! It's lunchtime anyways.  
  
~The Food Court at the Mall~  
  
Clerk: I'm sorry but the food court's been shut down. There's no food  
left.  
  
Prof. Hiragi: WHAT?!?!?  
  
Clerk: They're holding an eating contest, and they've bought up all of  
the food.  
  
Dr. Gilmore: Who has?  
  
Clerk: Goku, Goten, Lan, Oxnard, Kaoru, Gourry, Kero, Serena, Joey,  
Tristan, Mondo, and Akido.  
  
Prof. Hiragi: I want to enter!  
  
Dr. Gilmore: are you mad? I've seen most of them eat! You're up  
against an army of food consuming machines!  
  
Prof. Hikari: But they're not machines. Machines don't eat.  
  
Dr. Gilmore: That's not the point.  
  
Prof. Hiragi: Oh, come now, they can't be that good.  
  
Prof. Hiragi rushes off to pile food on his plate  
  
Dr. Gilmore: *Sigh* That's not very smart. He'll never come out of  
there with all his limbs.  
  
~After Eating Contest~  
  
Prof. Hiragi: ( oooooohhhhhh. I don't want to talk about it, Okay?  
I'll never look at soy sauce the same way ever again.  
  
Prof. Hikari: Are you all right?  
  
Prof. Hiragi: I don't think so. *ulp* Excuse me, please. I really have  
to go to the bathroom.  
  
Prof. Hiragi runs off in the direction of the restrooms  
  
Dr. Gilmore: Do you think he'll be quite all right?  
  
Prof. Hikari: I think so; he'll probably be fine after he gets it all  
out of his system.  
  
Dr. Gilmore: I never thought he could eat like that.  
  
~The Bathroom Hallway~  
  
Ranma is standing in the middle of the hallway, staring at the  
bathroom doors.  
  
Prof. Hiragi: What's wrong?  
  
Ranma: I can't decide which bathroom to use.  
  
Prof. Hiragi: What? You gay or something?  
  
Ranma: Noooooo, it's not that.  
  
Prof. Hiragi: You're a guy, right?  
  
Ranma: yes, but-  
  
Prof. Hiragi: Then you use the guys' bathroom.  
  
Prof. Hiragi pushes him through the door.  
  
~Later, in the Bathroom~  
  
Ranma is washing his hands, but the hot water heater is broken,  
so he turns into a girl. At the same time, Yuske comes out of one of  
the stalls.  
  
Yuske: DAAAAAAH!!!!! There's a girl in the guys' bathroom!  
  
Yuske starts yelling and chasing Ranma all over the mall.  
  
~Outside~  
  
Prof. Hikari: Ready to go yet?  
  
Prof. Hiragi: yeah.hey, Hikari?  
  
Prof. Hikari: What?  
  
Prof. Hiragi: Ever get some REALLY bad advice?  
  
Prof. Hikari: *Laughs* (I had to make him do that at least once, he's  
the really serious type, who never laughs.)  
  
Ranma is still being chased all over the mall in the background  
and people are screaming.  
  
Prof. Hikari: Sure, my son told me to take this job.  
  
Dr. Gilmore: (Did you almost forget he was there?) Someone must've  
given that Ranma girl some bad advice; she was being chased down the  
escalator when we were going up it.  
  
In the background, Kuwabara stops Yuske.  
  
Yuske: angry Hey! What's the deal?  
  
Kuwabara: Don't hurt a girl!  
  
Yuske: But she was in the guys' bathroom!  
  
Kuwabara: WHAT? GET HER!  
  
Ranma: BUT I'M A GUY! A GUY! A GUY I TELL YOU! I'M GONNA GET YOU FOR  
THIS PROFESSOR HIRAGI!!!  
  
(Kurama: and where am I in all of this?  
  
Godrina: Um, being your handsome self and leaning against the wall and  
being calm? ...or, on vacation in Hawaii.  
  
Kurama: okay, sounds good. But wasn't I in the video store with Hiei?  
  
Godrina: um, maybe, you two went out to get smoothies?  
  
Hiei: are you suggesting that one of us is gay?  
  
Godrina: NO! No, I didn't mean it that way.if it makes you feel any  
better, you and Kurama and two of the hot sailor scouts of your choice  
left on a trip to Jamaica.  
  
Kurama: But-  
  
Godrina: BACK TO THE STORY!)  
  
Prof. Hiragi: Get in the car!  
  
Dr. Gilmore: Huh?  
  
Prof. Hiragi: Just GET IN THE CAR!  
  
Far off somewhere, Kuwabara died of stupidity.  
  
The car speeds out of the parking lot, and they drive back to  
the lab.  
  
Dr. Gilmore: Do you think we lost them?  
  
Prof. Hikari: Yeah, we lost them.  
  
Prof. Hiragi: Well, if worst comes to worst, we can't ever show our  
faces at the mall again.  
  
Dr. Gilmore: Or in public. Period.  
  
Prof. Hiragi: What's left of the testing room?  
  
Dr. Gilmore: well, the good news is that Kenshin's gone.and the bad  
news is that your fish is dead.  
  
Prof. Hiragi: NOOOOO! POOPSIE! (  
  
Prof. Hikari: What do you say we split before he calls the funeral  
service?  
  
Dr. Gilmore: Good idea.  
  
Prof. Hikari: I don't get it. I thought Kenshin swore never to kill  
again, even if it was just a fish.  
  
Dr. Gilmore: Kenshin didn't kill the fish, it died of Kuwabara's  
stupidity.  
  
~The Anime Hotel~  
  
Mondo: I'm your bellboy, Mondo. I'll also bring you your room service  
food, if you order any. Tell me if you need anything, and tips are  
ALWAYS appreciated, especially in large amounts.  
  
Rockna: I don't think that they'll pay us squat after they taste  
Genkai's cooking.  
  
Unknown to the doctor & Professors, every anime character in  
existence is staying at the hotel.  
  
Prof. Hiragi: Hey look! Holds up some weird remote thing. I think I  
fixed this old thing I made.  
  
Prof. Hikari: What does it do?  
  
Prof. Hiragi: I'm not sure yet.  
  
Prof. Hiragi pushes the button and ZAP!  
  
Mondo: DAAAAAH! WHERE ARE WE?  
  
Rockna: and why are all the guests here?  
  
Yuske hits Prof. Hiragi on the head.  
  
Yuske: You-you-you STUPID PERSON! WE'RE INSIDE THE TELEVISION!  
  
AND THAT'S HOW ANIME BEGAN. CREEPY HUH? THE END.Not really. 


End file.
